


Calm

by Willofhounds



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Flashbacks, Gen, Good Kavar, Goodish Vrook, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Master Kavar - Freeform, Nightmares, One sided Revan/The Jedi Exile, Padawan Jedi Exile, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-26 16:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30108522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willofhounds/pseuds/Willofhounds
Summary: Instead of being exiled, Lukas Lambert (character) is given the chance to heal with Jedi Master Kavar on Onderon. This is their story. Eventual m/m
Relationships: Carth Onasi/Male Revan, Kavar & Atton "Jaq Rand, Kavar & The Jedi Exile, Kavar/Male Jedi Exile, Kavar/Queen Talia of Onderon (One sided), The Jedi Exile & Atton "Jaq" Rand, The Jedi Exile/Kavar, The Jedi Exile/Revan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 5





	1. A choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instead of being exiled, Lukas Lambert (character) is given the chance to heal with Jedi Master Kavar on Onderon. This is their story. Eventual m/m

Warnings: Eventually m/m between mc and Kavar. 

Kavar's POV 

The entire council had been summoned unexpectedly. Most of their meetings were prearranged. The last time they had been called together unexpectedly was to decide if they would go to war with Mandalore. That was two years ago and now they were called back for a similar reason. 

One of their number that had gone off to war had returned. Lukas Lambert was a young apprentice of sixteen standard years. Kavar had been interested in taking the younger as a padawan. 

He had gone to ask the younger to be his padawan only to find out he had left for the war. Kavar honestly thought he would not see him again. War after all killed many on both sides. 

To find out the young padawan was still alive sent shock through him. Due to their code Kavar couldnt show his shock. When he was alone he would allow himself to feel the emotions. 

Being one of the first to arrive meant he was able to watch the others come in. Zez-Kai Ell gave him a nod in acknowledgment. They would exchange words later after this meeting. 

Vrook was sitting across from him. Kavar could sense the man's annoyance. What really caught his attention was Atris who held a lot of anger in her. That was odd and something that needed to be meditated on later. 

Once everyone was sitting Vrook began, "If you have not heard or felt it yet, one of the padawans who left has returned. Lukas Lambert is currently staying under guard in one of the apartments."

Many of the masters reached out through the force. Kavar felt the padawan arrive as he was an unnatural blank in the force. He had been able to feel it easier than the others as he spent a lot of time with the boy. .

Atris said horror lacing his tone, "Its as if he is cut off from the Force."

Zez-Kai Ell rubbed at his chin as he mumbled, "No not quite. I can still sense pain coming off of him. Though that is about all I can sense. Likely since neither Atris nor myself were very close to him. Kavar what can you sense from Lambert? You were closer to the boy than anyone else."

Sighing at their looks of interest he reached out through the force to the boy. As Zez-Kai Ell said there was a lot of pain coming off from the boy. He could sense it far better than the others. 

When Kavar's presence brushed against Lambert's there was a harsh flinch. It drew away from Kavar's briefly. For a moment the young master allowed the distance. Then he allowed his presence to brush against the other's again. This time Lambert's presence didnt flinch away. 

Instead it reached out to his presence and Kavar flinched physically. There was so much pain and fear in the boy. He sent calming thoughts through his presence. The boy's presence became calmer and less pain. Then it became a mere speck in the presence of the world as the boy fell asleep.

Kavar opened his eyes as he said, "There is a lot of pain in that padawan. I've never felt such pain in anyone that lived more than a few hours."

Atris growled, "We should exile, Lambert. He will bring nothing but trouble if he is allowed to stay."

Zez-Kai Ell argued, "If we allow him to be exiled then we will never understand him. As it stands now he is our best source of information."

Vrook said with a contemplative look, "I see the value of both sides. There are a lot of unanswered questions about why so many went to war. Or how many that left are still alive. However that kind of pain should not be taken lightly. There is a chance he could affect the younglings."

Kavar could see Vrook's point in this. If he had not felt what he did through the Force he would agree with Atris. Lambert had the potential to return to them or be destroyed by what he had seem. 

Their code didnt allow for attachments most of the time. There had been a few exceptions to the rules a handful of times in history. For his part Kavar felt an attachment to the only one he wanted to take as a padawan. It was what made his decision for him. 

Kavar said resolutely, "I'll take him. Before Lambert left for the war I had intended to take him as my padawan. I have a friend on Onderon who would welcome us with open arms. The moon would be a good place away from people and younglings. It may bring him the peace that will allow him to calm and be able to answer our questions. I believe as it stands now we will not get the answers we seek out of him."

Atris questioned barely withholding a sneer, "You would allow him to get away unpunished? He went against every rule we had in place!"

Zez-Kai Ell replied heatedly, "It is easy to cast blame. It is perhaps time the Order accepted responsibility for their teachings, and their arrogance, and come to recognize that perhaps we are flawed. Or are you trying to say that you are unflawed and have not gone against the Code at least once?"

Silence filled the air between the council members before he continued, "Not once have I heard one of the Council claim responsibility for Revan, for Exar Kun, for Ulic, for Malak… or for Lambert. Yet… he is the only one who came back from the wars to face our judgment. And rather than attempting to understand why he did what he did. We seek to punish him instead. This is our one chance to see where we had gone wrong, and if we listen to Atris then we will be casting it aside."

"I am willing to take the chance on, young Lambert," Kavsr cut through calmly. 

Vrook said after some contemplation, "Then we will put it to a vote. Those in favor of Lambert studying under Master Kavar until he can answer our questions?"

The vast majority of the council voted in favor of the idea. He barely withheld a sign of relief. 

"Those against?"

Only two masters were against the plan. A majority was his. This time at least. Kavar knew he had made an enemy of Atris this day. She would be watching every move he made like a hawk. 

Kavar stood brushing off his robes and said, "I will go talk to young Lambert. If he decides against my help we can agree that he will be exiled."

Vrook said with a wave, "Agreed. Should he agree you both should leave immediately."

Kavar bowed before leaving the room but not before sharing a look with Zez-Kai Ell. The older master would see him off before he left. 

Lambert's POV 

Gasping for breath he shot up from the bed he was laying on. This wasnt his tent on the battlefield. Where was he? 

He tried to reach out through the Force only to jump and fall out of the bed as it screamed at him. Immediately he closed himself off to the Force once more. No he could not listen to that again. The screams of the Force from what happened to Malachor V.

Terror filled him until he recognized the city outside the window. Coruscant... he was on Coruscant. That meant he had in fact made it back from the war. It wasnt just another fevered dream. 

Right he swore he would return here if he lived through the war. Swore that he would face the judgement of the Masters who he betrayed. Unlike the others he would not stay away. Lukas would face the punishment for his actions. 

That was why Lukas had not argued when the Sentinels when they requested his lightsaber and other weapons. Everything was handed over without issue and he allowed them to show him to the watched apartments. 

Lukas ran a hand through his shaggy dirty blond hair. If he lived through the punishment then he would need to get a hair cut. He never did like having long hair. 

A knock on the door caught his attention. Warily Lukas picked himself up off the floor and opened the door. There with a tray of his favorite foods was Kavar. The Master did not look as stern as Lukas expected. In fact he looked quite relaxed.

Lukas remembered that a calm presence had sent him into a peaceful slumber earlier. Could it have been Kavar? Out of everyone in the Temple this Master was most likely to help him.

"Are you going to invite me in, Lukas?" questioned Kavar in amusement.

Lukas had to pick his jaw up off the floor. This wasnt the reception he was expecting at all. The lighter blue eyes shone with amusement as Lukas moved out of the door. 

He said bowing his head, "Of course, Master Kavar."

Kavar laughed lightly, "You never followed nicieites before, Lukas. Drop the Master at least when we are alone."

Lukas bent his head as he replied, "Of course Kavar. What brings you here?"

Kavar pushed the tray of food into his hands. He said, "The Master Sentinels said you have been refusing to eat for one," Lukas took it with a sigh, "For another the council has come to a decision on what to do with you."

Already? He put the tray of food down on the bed. His stomach rolled at the thought of what they decided for his punishment.

Kavar reprimanded lightly, "You're projecting."

Lukas ducked his head unable to stop his reaction. He wasnt used to stopping his thoughts. Only the other Jedi on the battlefield could hear their thoughts. So as a whole the army stopped trying to control their thoughts. 

Kavar ordered pointed looking at the tray, "Eat. I will explain once you're finished."

Sighing Lukas did as he was bid and ate the food he was given. It made his stomach roll but he was well practiced in eating with nausea. Halfway through the tray he had to push it away from him. 

Kavar said trying and failing to catch Lukas's gaze, "The Council have come to an agreement on what to do with you. It was myself and Master Zez-Kai Ell that brought up the idea. To understand why so many went with Revan we must understand what drove you. As you are the only one who has returned you are the best source of information."

"I'm to be interrogated?"

That wouldn't surprise him. Though he doubted Kavar would be the one to do the interrogation. If anything he would be the one to try and get Lukas to talk willingly first. 

Kavar denied loudly his presence in the Force brightened in surprise, "No," it made Lukas flinch at the harshness of his word. He continued softer this time, "No. You have two options."

That was unusual. Most of the time they would they would exile the offending member. It was what he had come back expecting to receive. Or to be imprisoned. 

Kavar continued, "Your first option is Exile as I'm sure you were expecting. You would spend the rest of your life in the Outer Rim doing whatever you choose. Of course you will have give up your lightsaber."

Lukas stared at the man. That was what he expected. So what was the other option?

Kavar smiled at the curiosity lighting up his eyes, "The second option would be to bond with me as a padawan. You still have a presence within the Force even if you are hiding from it. I will help you heal away from the others. We will head to Onderon where a friend will take us in. I will be taking your lightsaber until I believe you have healed enough to keep it again." 

There was no option here. Not really. 

"I'll go with you, Kavar."


	2. Onderon part 1

Kavar's POV

The moment he left Lukas's room he breathed a sigh of relief. The young man had agreed. That was good that meant there was the chance they could save him from himself. He sent a quick message to Vrook letting him know that they would be heading to Onderon immediately. 

Kavar wasnt blind he could see the darkness in his eyes. It wasnt just the darkness from what he had seen and done. It was absolute terror. Lukas was terrified of the Force. Of opening himself up to it again. 

He was almost tempted to take Lukas to Duxan. The lack of settlements would allow him to connect to the Force without risking anyone around him. The idea did not come without significant risks. Duxan was where the Mandalorian War had begun after all. Without Lukas's service record or asking the young man himself there was no telling if it would trigger him. 

For now be wouldnt risk it. Lukas most certainly didnt trust him anymore than himself. Talia wouldnt be happy if they went to the moon instead of visiting her. And no one wanted to anger the Queen of a planet. 

"Kavar?"

Zez-Kai Ell stood leaning against the far wall. The sentinel was eyeing him with an annoyed look. 

Kavar leaned back on his heels as he said, "Lambert will be going with me to Onderon. If I learn anything of interest I'll inform you."

Zez-Kai Ell said looking at the door, "I would suggest mind healing first. It wont help him with the Force but it will help you connect with him. If you have any questions dont hesitate to call."

"I will. Thank you, Zez-Kai Ell," thanked Kavar. The two masters shook hands before his friend left. Once Zez-Kai Ell was gone he let out a tired sigh. 

"Issues, Kavar?" came the all too gleeful question from Atris, "Figured out Lambert is a lost cause to the Order after all?"

Turning to face her he replied coldly, "Actually no. He has agreed to go with me to Onderon. I was debating taking a risk and taking him to Duxan. Unfortunately I do not know how he would react. So Onderon it is."

The Sentinel guard handed him the single hilted lightsaber. The crystals within the hilt reacted to his probing through the Force. They were out of balance with their master. When Lukas was in a better mindset he would see about making the crystals back in balance again. 

Without any grandeur he clipped the lightsaber to his belt. To the guard he said, "Lambert is cleared to be leaving with me now. We will be heading to hanger 7 to take a ship to Onderon."

The guard asked, "Do you wish him to be in Force Suppresing cuffs?"

Kavar denied immediately, "No I can control him if things get out of hand."

The sentinel replied, "Then I'm releasing him into your care," the sentinel seemed to pause in consideration before he said, "There's something else you should know Kavar."

The Weapon's Master raised his head and the other leaned in to whisper, "He should have been taken to his usual apartment and kept under guard. That is normal protocol. However he requested to be put as far away from other Jedi. Padawan and Master alike. Not for his protection but for their own."

Kavar felt a shiver of fear roll down his spine at the words. There was no logical reason that Lukas would not want to go to his apartment. He didnt even acknowledge the items he would be leaving behind. 

Now there were questions that would need to be answered. He couldn't take Lukas to his rooms either. They were deep within the temple and too dangerous for the others that lived within the temple. 

He felt his comlink buzz but his attention was drawn to Lukas who came out. His head was bowed low and not meeting anyone's gaze. It hurt him to see the young man so pained. 

Kavar allowed his presence to blanket the younger man. Lukas seemed to relax slightly as he felt the echoes of it. The younger man moved so that he stood just behind him. A bag was handed over to him. It had to be whatever the boy brought back with him.

Atris sneered at the younger man. Lukas refused to look at her or anyone else as Kavar led him to the hangers. Hesitation filled him as they entered hanger 7. 

Kavar whispered gently, "There is still time for change your mind."

Lukas looked up at him his dark blue eyes unsure. Then the boy shook his head taking a step towards the ship. Their ship was a freighter that Kavar had come across a few years ago. Every now and then he would come across a part to personalize it. 

After a few quick words to the dock master they went up the ranp. To his amusement Lukas went straight to the cockpit. Preparations for take off only took a few moments. 

Kavar was working on the navigation when Lukas stopped moving. It took several seconds for him to realize what was wrong. The younger was stiff as a board his eyes were looking out the ship's view port. 

Moving away from the navigation he questioned softly, "Lukas are you with me?"

Lukas shook his head. Pain laced the Force and he could feel it. It wasnt muted even in the slightest. 

Bending down so that he wasnt looming over the younger he said keeping his voice soft and level, "Hey. What do you see Lukas?"

Lukas shook his head his jaw tightening to what had to be painful levels. It made him wince in sympathy. While he had not served in the war he had seen many battles. A stiff drink and time away from everyone was what allowed him to feel normal again. He would have to keep the young one away from the alchohol. 

Lukas whispered, "Malachor V. The planet its destroyed... I shouldn't have used that machine."

Machine? What was he talking about? 

Kavar replied in calming soothing tones, "Easy, Lukas. You're no longer on Malachor V. Who am I?

Lukas shook his head not meeting Kavar's gaze. That won't work he needed to ground the young man. Otherwise they would not get off the ground. 

Raising a hand he saw a flinch from the boy. He hesitated before placing it on the boy's shoulder. 

Lukas said staring at his hand with clouded over eyes, "Kavar. You're Kavar. What are you doing here? You didn't go to war with us."

"We are not on Malachor," he denied, "You came back to face the Council. We are heading to Onderon."

There was a flash of uncertainty in his eyes. Kavar hummed one of the songs that he had learned while on Onderon. That surprisingly seemed to work as the boy slumped into chair. 

Kavar suggested calmly, "Why dont you go to the quarters on south side of the ship? I'll finish the preparation for take off and on the path for Onderon."

For a moment Lukas considers it before he shakes his head and straightens. He said in an odd tone, "No it will go faster with two."

Oddly Kavar didnt feel the need to press. 

Lambert's POV 

Later found him in the crew quarters after the ship entered hyperspace. Despite his incident earlier Kavar seemed to accept his presence. No questions were asked about how often he lost himself. Or what triggered it. 

Lukas knew though. He knew that being on a freighter like this was what caused it. The last time he had been on one was when he escaped Malachor V. He had stolen a freighter to get away from the dead planet. The one that caused the Force to cry out everytime he opened himself up to it again. 

His bag that had been taken by the sentinels was returned to him. Unexpected was that nothing had been removed from the bag besides the weapons. Even his comlink was there with a new number added. 

Lukas's heart jumped when he found the photo that was taken just before the fated battle. Lukas stood in the middle his men all around him. Mikage his second in command at the time had an arm slung around his shoulders. None of them knew at the time what would be done to win the war. Or the cost that it would come at. 

Another photo was of Revan and him. Who took the picture was anyone's guess. The two of them were huddled over a war map discussing strategies. 

A knock on the door sounded and Lukas turned to face it. He called out, "Enter."

Kavar did as he was bid. Instead of his usual robes he had changed into a grey tunic and black pants. Neither of their weapons were belted to his side. 

Lukas asked his head turning to the side in curiosity, "Did you need something?"

Kavar said glancing at the bag, "I was wondering if you would like to join me in meditation. Do not feel obligated to. I just thought I'd offer since we are about 25 standard hours from Onderon."

For a moment he considered it before he shook his head. No he was in no way prepared for trying to open himself up to the Force. He hid it well but Lukas could see Kavar's disappointment. It almost made the younger wish he could take back his words. But he couldnt and Kavar left him be.


End file.
